Category: Peace

Changes in life, looking back, looking forward

Kevin W Tharp Portrait with Guitar

Surviving a rough patch in the road.

Kevin W. Tharp Portrait
Surviving a rough patch in the road.

Since I last published to this blog, the whole world has changed. Some of it has been political, some of it has been religious, some economic, and I don’t even need to say anything about COVID.

We are seeing a different world than the one that we saw the last time I posted here. Ultimately, I believe the world will be a better place for many of the changes. But there are a host of people worldwide who have shown that they are not in favor of a civil society. Ignorance has been elevated for some to being a lofty goal, and they are working real hard at it. Critical thinking has been abandoned by a third of the people, embracing a selfish, angry and hateful view of the world.

Last Picture before I got sick
Last picture before I got sick

The journey over the last few years has been hard, for me and for many others. I went through 18 months of waves of illness that left me, at times, unable to do anything but sleep, eat and manage bodily functions. I was isolated for about 14 months, never going into a store, restaurant, bar or anywhere else except for home and camping. But it gave me a chance to think, a lot. It gave me a chance to look inward and an opportunity to understand what is valuable to me.

Shingles was one of the things that I experienced

I was very angry for a while, but I have learned how to manage that on a spiritual level instead of an ego level. And I am much better for it. I am at peace (most of the time), and I have learned how to maintain that peace even when it seems like the world around me is embroiled in chaos.

I recognized that for me the meaning of life is love. And I have found the path to peace within me. It has been a profound period in my life.

I grew my hair and beard while I was in isolation. A lot of people don’t recognize me.

I lost my mom to Alzheimer’s. We lost my wife’s mother as well, though we don’t know how or why because it was in the middle of the first wave of the Pandemic in NY in 2020 and she was living in a nursing home at the time.

I got a chance to visit my mom right before she died. I was able to borrow a guitar and in her deathbed raise her from an uncommunicative state to singing, dancing and giving a war whoop at the end of a song. Two weeks later she was gone.

I’ve lost friends to Covid. But I have lost more to the ignorance that has been prevalent for the last two years. Frankly, if you are unwilling to wear a mask and get vaccinated to save my life, you really are not a person that is a friend.

So now I am back, different for sure, but healthy again and preparing for how I am going to spend the rest of my life with my wife. I have come to terms with being tied to an employer because of health insurance, even though that employer does not value me or any of my colleagues. And I guess that is okay. I recognize it for what it is, and will never again let that affect my well-being. It is a job, it is not my life. And it is sometimes really hard to get to a place where you can live with that in peace. But I have.

That is really all I wanted to say. I am changing providers that host this site, and so I wanted to check in so that it is at least a little current. Most of my effort goes into my other properties, but even those were left to linger while my health, the pandemic and a society hell bent on destruction took the stage. Hopefully things will start to normalize and I will be able to spend more time and effort on the things I love, like music, art and sharing my thoughts online.

I wish you all peace and love, they are what is important in all of our lives.

Kevin

Of Peace, Love and Joy

Live Peac Love
Live Peace Love

Of Peace, Love and Joy

Kevin W. Tharp                                     December 2014 

We

You

Me

As I grow older I am given the opportunity to reflect on many of the mysteries of life.  I walk a path that often changes my perspective on the world.  Many times in my life I have found myself with thoughts that are completely contradictory to the thoughts of the younger me.

I once was an active poet, writing many poems of which I now have no recollection.  But there is one poem that I wrote over 30 years ago that holds truer today than I could have ever imagined.

I used to laugh at people like me

Look at me now

I used to laugh at people like me

It was an early realization of the nature of my own human existence.  A recognition that even as a teen I had changed my perspective on some of the big questions of life, and a glimpse into the ever evolving nature of me.

I no longer profess to have the answers, or even a clue about the answers to some of the questions that life presents us.  The answers to questions of spirituality and existence elude me.

Why are we here?

What are we supposed to do in this life?

What happens when we die?

But these are the questions my mind finds its way back to again, and again, and again.

Now, as winter sets in, things slow down a little and nature hunkers down until it awakens again in spring. It is a time to think and plan for the coming seasons.  My mind settles on the deeper things in life, like Peace, Love, Joy and of course my garden.

Let’s talk about those deeper things that have become a focus of my thoughts. They are not easy to explain, but we’ll keep it simple.

Peace

A lot of different meanings here.
Quiet and Tranquility.
Freedom from civil disturbance.

Peace on Earth, Goodwill towards humankind.

On an individual level, I can be at peace with a decision, or at peace with the world.  In this way it is an acceptance of the world the way it is.  But generally when we talk about peace, we are talking about something belonging to a community or collective.

It is easier to explain what it is not than what it is.

On the collective level, peace is the absence of violence, strife, … tension.  I think of Peace as the collective decision to not violate “the others”.

Just because there isn’t war doesn’t mean there is peace.  When I am violating or even threatening the tranquility of a community,
I am disturbing the peace.

Peace is illusive because it depends upon groups to get along.
Peace is a gift that we give to each other.

Peace is about We.

Love

An intense feeling of deep affection.  I think that love is the strongest, the deepest and the most profound aspect of our spiritual being.  At least it is for me.

I was recently asked to define what I meant by love.

If I have to define love for you, this is a sad state of affairs indeed.

But as I thought about it, the closest I could come to defining love in my words was the bonding of two spirits.

There is the love of God, the love of another human, and the love for other creatures.   The reality is that love doesn’t have to be reciprocated.  I can love you and you not love me.

Under my definition you cannot love chocolate,  ((but I love chocolate ))
though you may use that word to describe a deep affection.  ((I love chocolate ))
And in my definition you cannot love yourself.  ((that is Narcissism))

Or, self-love is the state of self-respect and caring for oneself.
Self-love is your spirit embracing and respecting itself.

I love you.  You love me.
Ideally we both love each other.  I give my love to you.  Love is a thing that I give to you.
Love is about you.

Joy

A feeling of great pleasure and happiness.  Joy is the most transient, the most changeable and the quickest of the states we have discussed. Joy is a perspective, it is a conscious decision about how I am going to interpret and react to my circumstances.

The pure and simple delight in life and the world I live in.

Each day I make decisions about how I am going to proceed through the day.

Joy is a gift I give myself.
Joy is a gift you give yourself.

In that way, it is like a garden.

Plant kindness and understanding and Joy grows.  Fertilize with Love and Peace, and Joy thrives.  But you have got to pull the weeds.

Weeds take the energy that Joy needs to grow.

Dig out the hate to make room for joy.

Pull up jealousy and anger by the roots.

Don’t allow prejudice to invade the garden,
it is invasive and will choke out the joy
and may even spread to your neighbors.

Joy is a gift that I give myself
and it makes the world around me more beautiful.

Joy is about me.

We wish you all the joy of life,
but that of course is a decision that you have to make for yourself.

PEACE!

Categories: Love Peace Poetry

Tags: , , ,

Back from Hiatus

I am back.  I have had a long period when I did not post, August until now.  No excuses, I just didn’t write.  But now I am back.  I have some new projects going, and maybe along the way I will have some thoughts that are worth posting.

I’ll be back real soon, probably my next post will be about my adventure into building the systems to roast a whole hog.

Categories: Live Love Peace

A Peace of the Woods

I park the truck early and step out into the cool crisp morning.  It is still dark, but I know the way from years of scouting and hunting the area.  I gather my gear and step into the leaves that have recently fallen from the trees.  The evening dew has settled heavily on the leaves and reduced the amount of noise, but they still crunch with every step I take.  This is part of the reason for the early start.  I need to get into my spot and let nature settle in before the early light of dawn.  I use the moonlight and knowledge of the terrain to guide me into my spot where I get settled and await the break of day.

view of a corn field
Looking out over a field

My eyes have already adjusted to the dark.  From my seat, I can make out the trees and bushes nearest me, but everything else appears as shadows or dark in the distance.  The sky is full of stars.  As many times as I have been out in the woods at night, it always amazes me how many more stars there are in the sky when you get away from the lights of the city.  I pick out constellations even though there are only a few that I recognize.  I become aware that this is the same experience that my ancestors have had as far back as my family tree goes

Usually at this time, my mind is still swimming with details about work and family matters.  My everyday life and its details race through my brain and I am unable to settle on a single thought.  Did I clear my calendar, what loose ends did I forget to tie up, did I set my voice mail to tell people I wouldn’t be in the office this week.

Off in the east, the stars begin to fade as the first light of dawn begins to turn the sky from black to a deep dark blue.  It will still be 20 minutes or so before I can begin making out details in the distance, but I am ready.  The temperature begins to drop just when logic says it should begin getting warmer.  The warmth of the sun will have to wait.

View of the woods
The woods change as the light begins to filter in.

My senses are at their peak as my ears and nose have been forced to take over for my eyes.  I begin to see the details of the forest nearest me.  The forest is very quiet at this time in the morning.  As the forest becomes more visible, my mind begins to switch from thoughts of everyday, to thoughts of the moment.  The musty smell of dirt, moss, and decomposing leaves fills my nose and serves as a base for the many changing smells I will experience throughout the day.  With the exception of strong smells, I do not notice the change in odors in everyday life like I do in the woods.

I hear a leaf rattle in the distance.  This when I get excited as my adrenaline rushes as I search the landscape for signs of anything that may have produced a sound.  I can now see shapes in the distance, but colors and details still elude my vision.  I try to rely on my hearing to tell me of my surroundings.  After enough practice, you can begin locating the source of sounds and tell if the source is moving or stationary.  Since it is very important to remain as motionless as possible, my ears become my primary source of information in the woods.  This can be misleading, because a turtle or mouse can make more noise than a deer.

An acorn falls from the tree and lands near me.  Startled, I jump in my seat.  I laugh silently at myself and realize I need to relax and calm down.  The light in the sky is now bright enough that I can clearly make out individual trees in the distance and details of items nearby.  As the light changes, the details change in front of my eyes.  I can start to make out colors, especially in the tops of trees.  Over the next fifteen minutes the world will go from black, white and gray to blazing color.  This is when my eyes can really play tricks on me, so I depend even more on my ears.

Not too far away I hear a turkey gobble from the top of his tree.  It will still be a while before the turkeys come down and begin their day.  Off in the other direction, I hear a squirrel chirping from in its tree. I watch as the squirrel comes out onto a branch of the tree and takes a look around.  After a minute or so, the squirrel begins making his way down the tree.  He jumps from the tree and lands with a crash in the leaves.  He takes a few hops over to an old stump then climbs on top.  I take out my binoculars and see that he is eating a mushroom that is growing from the stump.  A few minutes later he is joined by another squirrel, I am guessing that they are mates.

Then, I hear a rustle of leaves from over my shoulder.  My ears perk up and I focus on the direction from which the sound came.  Another rustle from the same direction, and then another.  Very slowly I turn my head so I can see in the general direction of the sound.  I have to turn very slowly to avoid being seen.

Another vocalization from the turkey.

In the woods
Look to your left, what do you see. Trees. Look to your right, what do you see? Trees. Do you know why? Because you are in the woods.

I listen to the slow steady progress of the rustling leaves and determine it is coming from behind a rise.  I adjust myself so that I am properly positioned for something coming over the rise.  The squirrels I have been watching give a warning bark and go scurrying up into their tree, one stops on a branch and looks over at the rise as the other heads for the nest.  The rustling sound stops, and silence hangs for eternity.

I hear the flap of turkey wings as a turkey hops from one branch to another in the distance.  In my ears, I can hear my heart beating as it races in my chest and I work to control my breathing.  The leaf rustling starts again, only this time the progress is faster.  I am positive it is coming my direction and ready myself.  At the top of the rise I can make out movement where something has set a sapling in motion.  The next few seconds will show what is coming over the ridge.

I ready myself, hold my breath, and a large red squirrel comes bounding over the ridge.  The squirrel jumps onto a tree to get a better look around, then jumps back down into the leaves where he continues looking for acorns.  I let out my breath and again laugh at myself for getting so worked up over the sound of a squirrel making its way through the woods.  I would think that after all these years, I should be able to tell the difference.  I can’t tell you how many times a deer has turned into a squirrel just as it came into sight.

I settle back in and enjoy hours of company from the squirrels doing their thing.  Often I get the chance to watch turkeys, and sometimes I am blessed by a coyote or a fox, a turtle, chipmunks, and one time a bobcat.  Watching them helps me to pass the time, and clears all of the clutter from in my brain.  If I am lucky, I will get to come back tomorrow and maybe a few days after.  I know I have reached my goal when I am able to sit down and think about one thing, and think my way through it without other thoughts bombarding my brain’s process.

At the end of each day in the woods, I am very relaxed when I walk out.  This has become a factor in my well-being, and is a time that I look forward to each year.

**************************************************************************

This story was originally written in 2000 and published to the Ozarks Regional Information Online Network (ORION) with the title “A Peace of the Ozarks” .  It was retrieved from the Internet Archive Wayback Machine .  ORION was one of the very early freenets that introduced the general public of the United States to the Internet.  It was  a not for profit organization housed by the Springfield-Greene County Library in Springfield Missouri.  The nature of the organization changed from its origin in 1994 until 2001 when it was dissolved. I was employed as the ORION Coordinator from July 1994 until July 2001.

PEACE!

KT

Day 47

Categories: Forest Peace

Live by the sword

We have become a world that lusts violence.  My oldest son will graduate from college this year, and there has never been a day in his life when we have not been at war.  Maybe there was a period when we weren’t technically at war, but we were still bombing and shooting, aiming and killing, occupying the middle east.

Line of Cannons at Antitem
We have been a nation of violence for a very long time.

We celebrate killing and embrace putting arms in the hands of people around the world.  As best I can figure out, we have armed both sides of every conflict in the middle east for the last generation or two.  When we are being shot at, it is often with weapons that we provided to somebody somewhere along the line.

Our leaders vote for military funding increases year after year after year, while denying funding for education, health and general welfare.  We continue to make heavy weapons that we could never possibly need, but won’t support funding the infrastructure it would need to move those weapons from point a to point b.  http://security.blogs.cnn.com/2012/10/09/army-to-congress-thanks-but-no-tanks/ 

We buy into the notion that we need to need to have the right to carry weapons that honestly have no purpose except to kill a lot of people and kill them fast, but we refuse to accept that the result will be that people die from those weapons.  We occupy foreign lands with our military and fail to accept that it is our military presence in foreign lands that is the reason that we have people who want to attack us in our own.  We always have a way of justifying our lust of violence by saying that those people are somehow different than us.  We use religion and ideology as reasons to kill others, or arm them so they can kill themselves.  We spend more money on military spending than the rest of the world combined.  Combined!

What we fail to realize is the age old recognition that if you live by the sword, you will die by the sword.  The biggest threat to our society is not whoever we choose as our enemy today, it is our idea that we somehow need to be at war with somebody, anybody, everybody.  If you step back and really think about it, it should be clear that the path we are on is one that will ultimately lead to our own violent destruction.

I am against every war we are currently involved in, and I am against every war that we will choose to be in for the rest of time.

PEACE!

KT

Day 32

Categories: Love Peace